Rough Spot

If you have never had a child experience a "10" on the pain scale, get down on your knees and thank God! This evening we watched helplessly as Esther suffered through almost three hours of the most excruciating pain that she has ever experienced. I cannot describe the anguish we felt as we held her and tried to comfort her. To have a child begging you to make the pain go away and be unable to do it, is one of the worst things I have experienced as a parent. I'm afraid that Esther thought she was going to die. She gave us careful instructions that we were to donate as many of her organs as possible. I cannot type this without crying. In this age of modern medicine, it was unconscionable that they allowed her to suffer so terribly for so long.

Despite the incredible pain, Esther has been SO sweet. She just wanted to be sandwiched between her two parents and so we all squeezed into the bed. She couldn't get close enough to us. She whispered over and over again, "I love you, I love you". She was grateful for every small gesture that we made to ease her pain, thanking us each time. One of the challenges from the sermon this past Sunday was to consider what comes out of us when we are squeezed by hardship and difficulty. Tonight we saw the love and sweetness that is inside Esther. I wonder, if she had been angry and nasty through those hours of pain, would it have been easier for the rest of us to endure? As it was, it was heartwrenching.

After many, many requests and ultimately demanding that something be done, Esther was finally sufficiently medicated. She is now sleeping. Tom just crawled out from under her arms and has headed home for the night. I am just watching her sleep and trying to find peace.

At this moment, I am especially grateful for the wisdom of my dear friend, Kit, who insisted that I cancel the three Latin classes that I would otherwise be teaching tomorrow morning. Besides the likelihood of me being a basketcase tomorrow, this is where I need to be. Kit, thank you for mothering me!

There are both new and familiar faces here on Baird 5. One set of faces that is missing is the Perri family. Their Ross and our Samuel spent a lot of time together here and in the ICU over the last two years. Ross was buried on Friday. I know that watching a child suffer is nothing compared to losing a child. Tony and Tammy, we grieve with you and for you. I pray that you will find peace and comfort in the arms of Christ and your loved ones.